A friend and I recently had a conversation about the trials of parenting teenagers in our high-tech society. 

You wanna know what we decided? 

It’s hard. Really hard. 

Not only are teenagers wild pack animals that are naturally curious, but they (and all their curious friends) now have access to all kinds of information to fill their pretty little, not yet fully-developed brains. 

They are seeing images on their phones that I had to sneak from old dusty encyclopedias in the basement (which in hindsight were still pretty PG compared to what they see now). 

They are hearing –and using– questionable words so often, that our grandparents wouldn’t have had enough soap to wash all the filth out of their mouths. 

And they are smart. So smart. Their little fingers know exactly what to do with cell phones, I-pads, computers, airpods and all the things that were way after our time.

As a parent, we want to keep them from injury, disappointment, hurt, sadness and discomfort. We do our best to keep their lives safe, secure and stable. For many of us, it’s the reason we buy them the dang cell phone in the first place (the second reason being the constant badgering that they are ‘the last child on the face of the earth’ without one). 

And it’s not technology’s fault. I got into plenty of trouble without high speed internet and a smartphone. It’s just that the ease and access of technology is giving our kids information waaaayyy before they (or we) are ready.  

So, what do we do?

Well, for starters, we pray.  

I know, I know–blanket answer. But if you’re not doing it, you should be. And I’m not just talking about praying for their protection from the bad guys. Sure, there are ‘bad guys’ out there, but NEWS FLASH: their own little minds and the minds of all the other hormonal teenagers, are the bad guys. I’m not saying our kids are bad, but they are curious (just like we were) and they do have a spiritual enemy (just like we do). If we are not teaching them, someone else will be. 

Pray for the right time to introduce them to technology.

There’s not a perfect age or a magic number. You don’t have to do it just because everyone else is, but if you do jump in, be smart about it. Monitor their apps. Know their password. Find out who they are talking to. Privacy is awesome, and kids do need some of it, but we are still the parents. 

Pray that when they do mess up, they will get caught.

Getting a phone call from school, or from another parent, or just finding something on your own, never feels good. But, it’s not the end of the world. Knowing about the little things helps you prepare for, and hopefully avoid, the big things. You cannot protect them from everything, but you can be there to walk them through the mess and help them learn from it. 

Pray for awareness, discernment and communication.

As parents we need to be moving forward with eyes and ears open. We all mess up and we can’t expect our kids to be perfect, but sometimes their behavior is a signal that something deeper is happening. Pay attention. Ask questions. Take time to listen. 

When they walk into a room, put your phone down. Model what it looks like to be present, to make eye contact, to not be dependent on your device. Stop texting and driving. Make an actual phone call. Set limits on screen time. 

Your teens don’t know it right now, but they need you. They need your guidance, your time, your wisdom, your discipline and most importantly, your love. 

It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it.